Favourchimamaka

 The truth hurts but it should not kill. Truth can kill when you tell it in an unkind manner. I'm particularly concerned about how you tell your truth when it comes to love and friendship.  So many persons in the name of correction have actually ended up worsening the cases they tried to correct. Therefore, there's need to pay attention to the manner through which the things that need to be said in your relationships are said so that you don't tear down the walls you're trying to patch. Don't use "calling a spade, a spade or saying things the way they are" to mask wickedness. It's so low. Don't do it. For awhile, I've been a preacher of intents and focusing on the heart while overlooking the things that are actually being said in the name of love, but if I'm being honest with you, it is very hard. You know why it's hard to focus on intents? It is because the weight of things being said sometimes overshadows the intents. It makes us unab...

You may think an unhealthy relationship is far from you, but I can't guarantee you that if you or your partner falls into the following category.  Don't be in a hurry to leave. Stay tuned for this unveiling. 1. The people whose hobby is table turning: Are you familiar with the term "table turning?" If you're not, I'll tell you what it means. Do you know those people who never admit that they are at fault or believe that they have a hand in any wrongdoing but always find a way to make everything your fault? They are the table turners. So, he or she does something that is clearly wrong but by the time the story is told 3-4 times, they manage to make it your fault and you end up apologizing for what you don't know. 2. The people who "call a spade, a spade": These ones with their mouths sharp as razor specialize in telling their kind of truth. Their mic is always on. All they know about being supportive is calling a spade a spade and saying things th...

On good days(almost everyday), you can call me an expressive person. By expressive, I show and tell exactly how I feel. I just hate to sweep my feelings under the carpet and even if I try to do so, it doesn't help. Therefore, I'm always like, "I couldn't have done stuff without you. Thank you so much" or "That thing you did to me yesterday, I don't like it" or "you talked down on me and made me feel so little, don't ever do it again." No matter how hard I try, I'm not sure I will ever join the "be the mature person and be silent" gang. I won't survive it. Many times, if I can't say how I feel, I literally feel like something's choking me. Being a Christian who is working towards perfection, somehow, I learnt to apply this expressiveness in my relationship with God and it has really helped me.  So I literally talk about everything and anyhow I feel. I just tell it to God and it helps because, He would know how e...

 It is always something you should not have said or done that damages your relationship with someone you care about or not. And it is in this manner that I want to talk about regret. Not the one that is a result of things beyond your control but the ones which you could have controlled but overlooked. Nothing makes you feel like shit the way this kind of regret does.  My friend once told me that regret is the worst emotion and I completely agree. Because how does something make you dwell on it and not move forward because you're thinking a thousand things you should have done better and rarely presents you with an opportunity to rewind time in order for you to do better? Usually, the problem here is not really whether you are sorry or not but that the deed has been done and there is no going back. This kind of regret just says, "It is what it is" and expects you to accept it even if it makes you cry every night. This type of regret gets even worse in the matter of death. ...

Oftentimes, we hear that we should not judge  situations that we have not been in but I'm not sure that we understand this well enough. And I think that this is because of the privilege that life hands over to us in certain situations; the privilege to stand at one side of the road and pass judgements to the person at the other side. But this privilege doesn't eliminate the point that you are just as human as the other person and that it could have been you at that other side save chances and maybe choices.  I'm not a prophetess of doom, but "never say never" will make much sense to you when it becomes you in some situations. Then you'll know that all there is to life is not being on social media and analyzing who did what right and who did what wrong. You will also understand that it is much easier to watch things happen to others from afar and just give sweet- smelling counsels. It's really easy to be the one advising so many times rather than taking the...

This is my fifth year in a university that I should have originally spent four years in and if life ain't teaching me lessons through this experiences, then I don't know when it ever will. I'll share five lessons that this strike which has become a yearly event in Nigeria, my country, has taught me. (1). Life Happens: This is the biggest lesson that I've learnt. ASUU Strike has taught and as a matter of fact, is still teaching me that life happens to people. ASUU says that it is okay to have plans and at the same time accept shit when it happens because they're all part of life. Talking about plans, by now I thought that I would be somewhere in some secondary school in Akwaibom or Abuja, teaching with my khaki and impacting my students and making the world a better place in my own little way. LOL. Just for the records, I'm still being impacted by my lecturers. But of course, I believe I'm still making my own little contribution to the world through these blo...