IT'S NOT YOU, IT'S THEM!

You may think an unhealthy relationship is far from you, but I can't guarantee you that if you or your partner falls into the following category. 

Don't be in a hurry to leave. Stay tuned for this unveiling.

1. The people whose hobby is table turning: Are you familiar with the term "table turning?" If you're not, I'll tell you what it means. Do you know those people who never admit that they are at fault or believe that they have a hand in any wrongdoing but always find a way to make everything your fault? They are the table turners. So, he or she does something that is clearly wrong but by the time the story is told 3-4 times, they manage to make it your fault and you end up apologizing for what you don't know.

2. The people who "call a spade, a spade": These ones with their mouths sharp as razor specialize in telling their kind of truth. Their mic is always on. All they know about being supportive is calling a spade a spade and saying things the way they are. Funny enough, their honest mouth never finds utterance whenever you do something good. They are not interested in any form of compliment, but fault finding. You make efforts, they rubbish it with their mouths and expect you to hug them and say thank you for telling you the "truth." 

Let me make the picture clearer: It is your first time writing a song, article or painting and they look at your work and call it trash or say "who would have recognized Chimamanda Adichie if she wrote something like this" then they laugh and say, "Babe, go and find your true calling o." 

Do you get it now?

These people are very unkind. They will make you feel so bad about efforts that you can build upon and be better. 

3. The people who know your worth but do all they can to make you feel little: These are the ones who will only talk about your achievements with every other person except you. They are proud to say that you're their partner outside because they know that you're great but inside, they specialize in making you feel so little. They can even make you question your skill, creativity and everything beautiful about you. If you stay around them for so long, you'll begin to doubt your abilities and develop low self esteem. 

When you find yourself with partners like this, it is up to you to decide relationship is worth saving and get help. If it is not worth saving, find an exit door because this time, it is truly not you but them. Leave or risk being caught up in another person's mess. 

If you're the partner who is like this, you have a problem. Accept it and be willing to do better. Get professional help too if you can.